"Subway shoulders", as Tía Tefi calls them, are those little boddy jiggles we do on the public transport when a song is so good that we're willing to risk possible major embarrassment. Since most of us are staying home, I thought I'd give you some Quarantine Tunes that are so good, you'll be willing to risk your loved ones (or the ghosts living in your empty home) walking in on you dancing in the kitchen.
F I N E L I N E
Look, not writing about Harry's new album is proving to be a very difficult task for me. Plus, I don't have anymore music analysis classes to use as a stan vent so here I am. Irregardless of my undying love of this Aquarius man (shocker), this album is so good. This time around, Harry is leaning in to his 70's, Fleetwood Mac side even more than he did for his debut record and I am here for it. It's drugs, it's heartbreak, it's an evolved Aquarian. Young, old, human, gremlin, you'll enjoy 'Adore You'. There's no doubt about it.
D I R T Y C O M P U T E R
Dirty Computer makes you feel like the last song your inclusive girlfriends all out dance to before drifting in the wind on the car ride back home. You know that last song when you're all sweaty, arms over each other, huge grins because it's the perfect song that all of you know all the lyrics to? Every song on this album is that song. This is as close as we're going to get to tasting that good pre-quarantine life. I watched Janelle live in the Netherlands a while back and I have to say it was one of the most moving shows I had ever seen, and her energy translates through her audio too. Highly recommend.
F U T U R E N O S T A L G I A
Well, I wasn't going to not write about this one. Future Nostalgia is pure Postmodern deliciousness. Dua Lipa has never recorded a bad song, and now she's back with new stage presence, choreography, and hair envy. She transports every listener to the feminist Tron-themed car chase in 3035 and I honestly can't complain. I think Dua is bringing Lady Gaga, Katy Perry in 2010s level of flavour and I'm going to be baffled if people don't take advantage of the bread the music industry is FINALLY feeding us.
M E A N G I R L S
They call those girls the Plastics, they're shiny fake and hard....and they must be tired from carrying the whole show on their backs. No hate to Cady, Janis, or even Damien, this is just my songwriting and composing preferences. Every single Plastics song is to die for. My favourite Regina is a loving pair between Taylor Louderman and Renee Rapp, but there's something particularly devious about Taylor's more high-pitched, borderline Disney Princess voice she puts on to amp up the Femme Fatale schpeal. Also, that "Regina, Regina, Regina" ensemble scream in Revenge Party is my absolute favourite thing right now. Would it be a dream come true to be able to angry-sweet belt while a bunch of dudes carry me across the stage so that I won't have to walk in my heels? Definitely.
C A L M
We are being fed. FED. Luke's little "I don't think I like me anymore, would someone tell me who I was before" part in Thin White Lies? Oh my goooood. Get out of here. I wish the whole song was just that part. A whole track led by Calum's vocals? Leave. Leave now. I've been following 5SOS's music since I had to hunt for livestream screen recordings of them playing an acoustic version of Voodoo Doll and I have to say this is the best album they've released, solely based on their growing willingness to step out of their own idea of them. Does that make sense? (Tell me in the comments below!) There's something gritty and unnerving about CALM and I am pleasantly surprised by it. I hope to see more of it in the future. But for now, listen to Red Desert.