Crying is not an easy thing to put out there. A socially traditional feminine trait, we have been shamed into suppressing emotions that aren't positive or 'happy'. Well, I say screw it. Here's a gigantic screenshot of my splotchy, bloated, crying face. Why am I crying you may ask? Well, my new vlog pretty much explains it all. 

For an explanation of what menjelang means, check out my first Menjelang Favorites post from last month. For the break down of everything I've been into the past month-ish, look no further. I don't know what it is but I feel like I go through music phases. In the winter time, I'm really in to indie and alt music. In the summer time, especially nearing my birthday (August 12th, hit your Leo girl up!!!), I get really in to hip-hop and R&B hype music. It's like my inner Insta Baddie shines through as it gets closer to my birthday. Not really, I think it's just my inner extra Leo shining through. 
Enough about my zodiac sign. Here are some really cool things you should check out because I like them. Hope you find something new. Or at least just something to distract yourself with so you can forget the fact that we're all slaves to capitalism and social constructs for a while. Cool. 

Marcel The Shell with Shoes On - Created by Jenny Slate and her (ex?) husband, Dean Fleischer-Camp, Marcel The Shell with Shoes On is a web series + kid's story book (I think). Marcel is a tiny shell and he goes around the house he lives, showing an unseen interviewer his life. It's adorable, it's incredibly witty, and oddly calming. It's so Pure. 

The Incredible Jessica James (2017) - Got Netflix? Stream it. Don't got Netflix? Putlocker it. Jessica James is an incredible role model and I am constantly telling myself to emulate her. She's honest and she's beautiful and she's struggling in the way everyone struggles and she's an awesome writer so get with it.

Your Name (2016) - To be honest, I'm not the biggest fan of Japanese movies/TV shows. I've tried, but I Just Don't Get It. Plus, cis women are so hyper sexualized in Japanese culture that the characters in animation always sound super breathy and it's just weird and it makes me uncomfortable. But, if you can get passed that and you're looking for something beautifully illustrated and a crazy plot that makes you go ?!?!?!?!?! then Your Name is perfect. It's about love and space and time and it's kind of nuts but I like it, and the cheesiness of the love story. 

Her (2013)- This movie was great and weird and intriguing and beautiful. Love is such a wild human concept in itself so to pair that up with technology is like double thinking for me and I love thinking about societal concepts and the protagonists challenges just that. Coolio. I cried, if that makes it any more convincing. 

Health documentaries on food (What The Health + That Sugar Film.) - These documentaries were so eye-opening. The food industry has been a hot topic on my mind for the last month because it's crazy. Yet another thing that the government has manipulated in the name of capitalism and we as members of the market are so blind that we sit there like zombies while we are literally trashing our bodies. To make matters worst, consumerism has been ingrained so deeply into our culture that it's unnatural to go vegan or to cut out refined sugar. Even the products that are marketed to be healthy/low fat/sugar-free are damaging!! Not to mention the ecological impact the food industry has. We really need to get educated on this and real fast too so we can stop romanticizing the foods that are essentially hurting us. 

​Youtube Videos - 

Viners truly do suck but Enya is hilarious and her little rant is so entertaining, especially since everything she spews out is the literal truth. 
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Just watch it. You'll get it.
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PRETTYMUCH - (Gossip Girl voice) New Boyband Alert! Word on the street Simon Cowell's got a new group of talented boys to fill the void One Direction left. Okay, back to Sel voice now. Not to be dramatic but I'm in love. Kidding. Not really. They've got major talent and they dance. With hip hop and R&B influences, It Boy hypeskater styles, and the fact that they're 3/5 POC will probably take them to the top. Also the fact that I can't seem to choose a fav to stan is really concerning. Anyways, their new single called Would You Mind is a consensual bop!

Billie Eilish - This girl. Hoooooooo my god, where do I even start?? I love teenage girls who make music with simple lyrics, deep themes, and dark undertones. Eilish talks about self-love (or lack thereof) in idontwanttobeyouanymore, romantic love (and lack thereof) in Party Favor, murdering her friends and her lover (which is probably a metaphor for violently cutting them out of her life) in Bellyache. She recently released her EP, Dont Smile at Me, and it's a freaking masterpiece. Listen to it. I love her. 

MY PLAYLIST VIDEO!!! IS LIT!!! WATCH & LISTEN TO IT!!! - 

Meet Me in The Cosmos by Jack Cheng - It's middle-grade Lit and I've only gotten a few pages in but it's already made me actually giggle out loud more than the other stuff I read. Told in transcripts of voice recordings eleven year old Alex makes, Cheng explores life on Earth through his protagonist who is very passionate about outer space and rockets.

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas - Inspired by the Black Lives Matter movement, Thomas explores the current racial climate in America. Starr, the protagonist, witnesses the shooting of her childhood best friend (done by a cop). Thomas also explores the two worlds Starr has to   manoeuvre between as she goes to a fancy prep school but lives in a poor neighbourhood.

Spiderman: Homecoming fanfiction - Don't shame fanfiction. It's just as much art as mainstream literature. My favorite's Leyla's (spidereyhes on Tumblr) Skyline. There's so much on Tumblr and Archives of Our Own. My favorite AU is Stark!Reader x Peter Parker for obvious reasons. 

Solid colors - I'm always in black. Always. I wore what I used to think was the ugliest greenest shirt I own. I ended up liking it. A mission of mine is to now be more in to colors. (Also I think I'm just succumbing to the current It Alt Artsy Skater Girl trend).

Fishnet socks - The fishnet tights trend is cute and all but let's be real here, sitting on a chair and having your butt press up against netting the whole day isn't cute. The socks are an easier alternative. They're not uncomfortable but still present themselves just to add a little edgy pizzazz. Yes, I just said the word pizzazz. Well, typed. 

Cauliflower rice - My parents have been doing the Keto diet so they've been trying to find rice substitutes. My mom ended up making this cauliflower rice and it turned out sooooo good. It's a vegan substitute, too! Here's the recipe she used since I love you and I want to include you in this cool meal.

Vegan Cookie Dough - Cookie dough is amazing. Vegan cookie dough is even more amazing. If you live in the Jakarta/Tangerang area, @kookie.do is on Instagram and they've got the best vegan cookie dough that you definitely need to try out.

Menjelang is an Indonesian word with a few English translations, including 'approaching', 'towards', and 'near'. It gives a sense of almost, with an underlying promise that it will be. I always scribble my favorites down on random scraps of papers and notebooks midway through the end and the beginning of two different months. Most of the time my favorites are things that are still very new to my life (songs with lyrics I still need to memorize, books I still need to finish), but that's because discovering excites me. It is my favorite thing. This combined with the fact that I think I am utterly uninteresting, these lists are usually disregarded quickly. But I'm learning how to have enough confidence to share.

Here, I visually present the internet with yet another Pro of being a pilot's daughter: spontaneous short trips to a lil pretty nook (just kidding, I literally entered another country) in the vast world. I learned a lot during this trip. Like, for example, although grunge chic, my denim jacket (featured in my travel vlog) is very heavy and thus a pain in the shoulders to wear/carry. Also, I get sea sick. The more I know. 

A new video in which my boyfriend and I embarrass ourselves (and whipped cream each other in the face) for all of the internet to see. Enjoy. 

​As a professional moody lady and cookie lover, I think it's a must for me to blog about these delicious home-made Moody Cookies. If you're in the look out for a little snack that will cure your sweet tooth and fill you up at the same time, or perhaps a lovely edible gift for your Valentine, Google no further. I'm willing to bet that no Moody Cookie will disappoint. 

I've just been really obsessed with Fathia Izzati and her band's latest single. Enjoy, if you wanna.

Rupi Kaur has been a writer that I've constantly looked to during troubling times. Many of her poems that discuss growth as a result of pain truly resonate with me, "to the reader" in particular (read below). As an able bodied, heterosexual, cisgendered, and fortunate person in society, I must constantly check my privilege. Even when it comes to growth. How ridiculous is it that our society and its leaders turn growth, a human process of evolution, into a privilege?

As a blessed pilot's daughter, traveling is almost a regularity. Anyone who's a makeup junkie knows how hard it is to fully downsize your makeup stash to a bare necessity that won't break the luggage weight limit. For new years, my family and I stayed over at Surabaya, Indonesia. This is everything that I put in my makeup bag.

Ever since I dipped my toes in the world of local Indonesian products, I sat in anticipation with one wide-opened eye, on the look out for a new local brand I could try. Mad For Makeup caught my eye during a giveaway they were holding for inspiring women so that they could get their new Better Oval Brushes reviewed. Unfortunately, I did not win the giveaway. Although, they were kind enough to reach out and told me that they would still value my honest opinion, if/when I post them. So, here's what I've got to say about these brushes:
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While on my mini yogi-vegan retreat that I had with my dad (read about it here!), I visited the most talked about vegan/organic/vegetarian restaurants and cafes near my hotel. Out of all coconut-based, vegetables, and shoeless restaurants and cafes I visited, I curated a yummy and healthy 3-meal vegan plan for you if you're ever visiting Ubud:

On a supposedly peaceful Thursday (17th of November) morning, my dad woke me up and asked me to go to Ubud with him on a 3 day long yoga retreat. Naturally, I said no since I was on the last few days of my 10 day break before my two final IB papers for Business Management. He was persistent, though. He kept going in and out of my room, entering with a new angle of persuasion, but to no avail. That is until I went on Snapchat and saw Cosmopolitan's new horoscopes for the week. Now, I'm quite difficult to convince, and although I have quirky little rituals I do to convince myself of certain things, I'm always conscious that they're only superstitions that calm my anxiety. However, Cosmpolitan's horoscopes had been correct 3 weeks in a row prior to this one. So, when I saw Cosmpolitan suggest that I do some spiritual activities, actually stating "like yoga", I was game. I barged in to my dad's room explaining that my horoscope told me to go and my dad called my mom to get the tickets right after laughing at her somewhat ridiculous daughter. ​

Skin care is something that I feel very passionate about. I've had acne-prone skin since I hit puberty and I've been struggling with moisturising without going overboard ever since. Luckily, after a few years, I finally feel like I've curated a skin care routine that does the job for my skin aka fights it until it finally allows me to be happy. Sure, I still have bad days, but these products make them a little less horrendous. 

Last weekend, my parents took me on a weekend getaway to Bandung as a way of helping me escape the hustle and bustle of Jakarta and the stress of IB exams (all of which are featured in my #IBDiaries series, if you're interested). To fully distract myself from all that pent up anxiety, my mom and I agreed to do a mini 'photoshoot' at the hotel. Upon this agreement, I brought two outfits for the two weekend days with me that were ultra comfy and made a mini photographic look book out of them. 

It is Sunday, the day before my afternoon Bahasa Indonesia exams. I will have three of my physics and two math studies paper for the rest of next week. I am struggling, to say the least. I am mentally and physically exhausted from my Taekwondo exams, but that's a story for another blog post. ​

​If you didn't know, in Indonesian, the H is "hari yang ditentukan", or the due date. Which means, H-1 is basically like saying "one day until the due date". The due date, of course, being the start of my IB exams. I thought it would be interesting to document what I can during this flurry that is otherwise known as the month which will determine the rest of my educational career. Maybe this will help any of you who are/will/have gone through the IB DP or just high school curriculum, really. Maybe this will only be functional for me, as something I can look back at once I'm much older and hopefully more prepared to face daunting things such as final exams. I better be. Seriously, Future Sel, I expect a lot more from you. ​

If you live in Indonesia, you may have noticed Wardah's new product taking the city (or country, who knows, I live in a bubble that is otherwise known as Jakarta) by storm and easily reaching Cult Favourite status. Upon seeing my cousin fish one of their new Intense Matte Lipsticks out of her bag and how nicely the shade sat on her lips, I had to get my hands on them.

Patched denim jackets are currently very on-trend. And when it’s not, they still look super cool and ~vintage~. While already-patched denim jackets and putting patches on denim jackets are very fashionable and quirky, patches may be a little too permanent, especially for people who like to experiment with clothes and have a “style” that constantly evolves. ​

I’m mostly Indonesian and Dutch, but I am part Arab from my maternal grandfather. In case you didn’t know what state Arab’s body hair is in: it’s “a lot”. I’ve got hair on my knuckles, my arms, the back of my neck, my back, my arm pit, my legs, my face (cheeks, moustache, between the brows, below the brows, temples, forehead, above the brows, chin, jaw), i’ve even got extended sideburns. Yeah, I get thick brows, hair, and long eyelashes, but I’ve got hair in every place society says I shouldn’t.