A few months ago, I woke up in the Netherlands to news that there was a bombing in Surabaya. During the rest of the day, I constantly checked online to see if there were any updates. I found out that it was a family of suicide bombers, and that they were indeed terrorists. It was the first time I wasn't home during a monumental event. No one else seemed to know what was happening, and I felt very frustrated. I spent that afternoon sitting alone on campus, soaking up the sun and writing this poem. I hope you find solace in my words.
Surabaya, 1743 (2018)
It's everywhere and no where at the same time
If we can’t see it, how are we supposed to fight?
My grandfather was born in Surabaya,
but he lives in a small town twenty minutes away.
My best friend from home went to Church of Santa Maria,
but she’s in school waiting for her diploma.
Went online because my news is filtered media;
they say the terrorists had been to Syria -
as if that could explain the hysteria.
A little girl at the young age of nine.
Hair as dark as mine.
Eyes as hopeful as mine.
The same potential as mine.
But tell me why
she has to die
with a bomb strapped to her torso,
while i sit in a class listening to my professors?
We talk about terrorism in class
as if its not here,
something Other to fear.
But terrorism is not here or there,
it is not anywhere but within ourselves.
How can we blame someone else
when we are the ones murdering our kids;
the one’s we raised, bathed, and kissed?
We taught them how to think.
So how can we blame them
When they are willing to kill without so much as a blink?
Fear is easy when you can blame it on terror.
But what’s it gonna take for us to look in the mirror?
Life is a lottery
I have undeservingly won.
Kamu tidak sendiri
(You are not alone)
Kami tidak takut
(we are not scared)
Teror di Surabaya
(Terror in Surabaya)
Teror di rumah kita
(Terror in our homes)
Teror di dalam jiwa
(Terror in our souls)
I thrifted the blouse at Mee&Gee. Got it for $5. Facts. It's got shoulder pads and everything. The pants I got from Uniqlo. These are my first pair of white pants and I feel like a real responsible adult. (Eating with it on gives me mad anxiety, I don't know how all of you white-clothing-owning-adults do it).
I saw a post somewhere (could have been Leandra Medine or Tan France) saying that we'll regret this whole 'tiny glasses trend' very soon. I agree, but I love it right now and I will over-indulge on the internet for me to cringe at when I look back at my social media platforms. It's called self-awareness and the circle of life. It be like that. Anyway, I got these skinny/tiny/baby sunnies from Bershka. Oh, and the ambiguous abstract earrings (I think it looks like a person's torso) are from Monki!
What do you think about the tiny glasses trend? Is it as stupid as the big orthopaedic sneaker trend? Will we all hate this blog post in two months? I suppose only time will tell. And you, in the comments, if you'd like!
© Selena Soemakno. All rights served unless stated otherwise.